if you’re really wishing somebody well, it’s very hard to judge them at the same time.

We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Monkey. That’s a job for all of us.

golden circle: Why? -> How? -> What?

Dr. King gave the “I have a dream” speech, not the “I have a plan” speech.

We’d rather talk. When I’m talking, I’m in control.

Injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness.

I don’t have time = it is not a priority.

relationship skills are one of the most important and hard to build things in life.

Chasing happiness can make people unhappy.

How to speak so that people want to listen

Don’t do:

gossip

judging

negativity

complaining

excuses

lying

dogmatism

Do: HAIL

Honesty: be clear and straight

Authenticity: be yourself

Integrity: be your word

Love: wish them well

if you’re really wishing somebody well, it’s very hard to judge them at the same time.

Inside the mind of a master procrastinator

But there’s a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline.

It can be the source of a huge amount of long-term unhappiness, and regrets.

We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Monkey. That’s a job for all of us.

The secrets of learning a new language

Enjoyment Methods System Patience

How great leaders inspire action

golden circle: Why? -> How? -> What?

Very, very few people or organizations know why they do what they do.

People don’t buy what you do; people buy why you do it.

The goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe.

Dr. King didn’t go around telling people what needed to change in America.

He went around and told people what he believed. “I believe, I believe, I believe,” he told people.

How many of them showed up for him? Zero. They showed up for themselves.

He gave the “I have a dream” speech, not the “I have a plan” speech.

We follow those who lead, not because we have to, but because we want to.

We follow those who lead, not for them, but for ourselves.

Why would we use that verb, it doesn’t “feel” right? Because the part of the brain(Why) that controls decision-making doesn’t control language.

10 ways to have a better conversation

Don’t multitask.

Don’t pontificate.

You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn.

True listening requires a setting aside of oneself.

Use open-ended questions.

Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.

Go with the flow

If you don’t know, say that you don’t know.

Don’t equate your experience with theirs.

It’s not the same. It is never the same. All experiences are individual.

Try not to repeat yourself.

Stay out of the weeds.

Listen.

listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop.

We’d rather talk. When I’m talking, I’m in control.

Be brief.

A good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.

How to practice emotional first aid

Injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness.

loneliness.

Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.

Failure

Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced. So it might be very natural to feel demoralized and defeated after you fail.

You cannot allow yourself to become convinced you can’t succeed.

You have to fight feelings of helplessness.

Our minds and our feelings – they’re not the trustworthy friends we thought they were.

Rejection

When you get rejected, the first thing you should be doing is to revive your self-esteem, not join Fight Club and beat it into a pulp.

Rumination

By spending so much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts, you are actually putting yourself at significant risk for developing clinical depression, alcoholism, eating disorders, and even cardiovascular disease.

Even a two-minute distraction is sufficient to break the urge to ruminate in that moment.

Each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative thought, I forced myself to concentrate on something else until the urge passed.

How to gain control of your free time

I don’t have time = it is not a priority.

The difference between healthy and unhealthy love

100 percent of us will be on the receiving end of unhealthy relationship behaviors and 100 percent of us will do unhealthy things. It’s part of being human.

Unhealthy relationships and abuse are all around us. We just call them different things and ignore the connection.

intensity

Abusive relationships don’t start out abusive. They start out exciting and exhilarating.

It’s important in the early days of a new relationship to pay attention to how you’re feeling.

isolation

isolation is one of the most frequently missed and misunderstood signs of unhealthy love.

extreme jealousy

belittling

In unhealthy love, words are used as weapons.

When you try to explain that your feelings have been hurt, they shut you down and accuse you of overreacting. “Why are you so sensitive? What’s your problem. Give me a break.”

volatility

relationship skills are one of the most important and hard to build things in life.

The bridge between suicide and life

The only good thing in Pandora’s box was hope.

Jason then asked us, “What happens when you open the box and hope isn’t there?” He paused a few moments, leaned to his right, and was gone.

By just being there, you may just be the turning point that they need.

I asked him, “What was it that made you come back and give hope and life another chance?” He said, “You listened. You let me speak, and you just listened.”

There’s more to life than being happy

Chasing happiness can make people unhappy.

It’s a lack of something else, a lack of having meaning in life.

Four pillars of a meaningful life:

belonging

purpose

transcendence

storytelling